Will I Ever Stop Smoking? My Failed Attempts at Quitting

I was 16 years old when I first tried smoking, influenced by a family friend who rented a room in our house. I often watched her light up cigarettes, and my curiosity got the best of me. One day, I finally gave in and took my first puff.

Surprisingly, I didn’t enjoy it. The taste was unpleasant, and I didn’t feel the urge to smoke again—at least, not for a while. But everything changed when my high school friends encouraged me to try once more. That’s when I learned the "right" way to inhale, and from that moment, cigarettes became part of my daily routine.

My addiction escalated quickly. At first, it was just a few sticks a day. Before I knew it, I was smoking an entire pack daily. My body craved nicotine constantly, and I found myself spending my school allowance just to sustain my habit. When I was short on cash, I even stole cigarettes from our family store. It was a cycle I couldn’t break, and the worst part? I didn’t even try.

My Failed Attempts to Quit

The first time I attempted to quit, I managed to cut down to 1–3 sticks every other day for about a month. Unfortunately, this wasn’t because of self-discipline—it was due to a persistent cough and breathing difficulties. As soon as I recovered, I went right back to smoking.

Years later, a friend gave me a book about the dangers of smoking. It opened my eyes, and I was determined to change. For three months, I significantly reduced my cigarette intake. But as time passed, my motivation faded, and once again, I relapsed.

Then life threw challenges my way—stress, heartaches, personal struggles. Cigarettes became my escape. Whenever things got tough, I turned to smoking, convincing myself that it was the only thing keeping me sane. But deep down, I hated what I had become. I didn’t want to rely on cigarettes to cope with life. I knew I had to try quitting again.

This time, I attempted to quit cold turkey, but the withdrawal symptoms were unbearable. A chronic cough lingered for a month, and an annual check-up revealed that I had pneumonitis. Desperate for an easier way, I decided to quit gradually instead. However, being surrounded by colleagues who were chain smokers made it nearly impossible. Their influence was too strong, and I gave up once more.

Two years later, I bought an electronic cigarette, believing that it would help me transition away from traditional smoking. For a few weeks, I felt hopeful. But my body still craved real cigarettes, and I eventually gave in. Frustrated and exhausted, I told myself, “I give up.”

Will I Ever Stop?

Nicotine is powerful. It’s true what they say: “Once you start, it’s hard to stop.” But despite all my failures, I refuse to let this addiction define me. I don’t want to be a smoker for the rest of my life. I know that someday, the right moment will come—the day when my mind, heart, and body align in my decision to quit for good.

When that day arrives, I will be ready.

Archive: I Quit Smoking Blog Series

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