How I Learned to Take Control of My Life After Loss

Life doesn’t always wait until you are ready. Sometimes it just happens, and you are left with no choice but to keep moving. That was what I felt when I lost my father. One morning he simply did not wake up. The shock was overwhelming, but I had no time to collapse. As the eldest child, I suddenly had responsibilities that were far bigger than me. I loved my family, but deep down I asked myself, am I only here to serve others? Will I ever be able to chase my own dreams without feeling guilty?

For years I accepted every opportunity that came my way, even if it drained me. I told myself that survival was enough, but deep down I was not living, I was just existing. Then two years ago something inside me shifted. I realized that if I wanted real happiness, I had to take control of my life. I went back to school to pursue something I truly loved. Fear whispered, “What if you fail? What if you are too old?” But I chose to keep going anyway. That was the moment I discovered that growth has no age limit and fulfillment is not measured by money alone, but by doing something that makes you feel alive.

If you feel stuck in survival mode, here are some lessons that helped me move forward:

1. Take Risks Even When You Are Afraid

I once applied for a job without experience or training. My heart pounded as I pressed “submit.” To my surprise, I was accepted. That one leap gave me skills that became my stepping stones. Growth does not wait for confidence. It comes when you take the leap, even with trembling hands.

2. Complaints Will Not Change Anything

I used to cry about my low salary and the frustration of feeling stuck. But I learned that complaints only point to what needs to change, they do not create change. The moment I turned my frustration into action, small shifts began to happen. You cannot complain your way into a better future. You need to act if you want something to change.

3. Use What You Already Have

My strength was writing. I used to journal to release my emotions, not knowing that it would one day become my career path. The first time I got paid for my words, I felt quiet validation. Sometimes the first step to moving forward is recognizing the gifts you already carry inside you.

4. Never Stop Learning

Curiosity led me to explore digital marketing. I learned through free resources and practiced on this blog. This blog, which began as a personal outlet, became my training ground and opened doors I never imagined. Growth comes when you stay open to learning and trying new things.

5. Prioritize Healing and Self-Care

There was a time when I drowned my stress in alcohol and cigarettes. On the outside I functioned, but inside I was breaking. Healing was not easy. There were relapses and weak moments, but slowly I rebuilt myself through journaling, exercise, and surrounding myself with people who truly cared. Real strength begins with healing. You cannot move forward if you are running from your pain.

Balancing Duty and Dreams

My father used to tell us, “Kainin at pasalamatan kung ano ang nasa hapag kainan.” That lesson taught me gratitude. But I also realized gratitude does not mean settling forever. I can be thankful for what I have while still reaching for more. That is what it means to take control of your life—to appreciate the present but also create the future you want.

Your journey is not a race. You do not have to prove anything to anyone. What matters is that you choose a path that brings you peace and fulfillment. When you decide to take control of your life, you give yourself the freedom to dream, to grow, and to truly live—not just survive.